Romana's TARDIS

An early start on Sunday morning for the Lionesses’ Euro warm-up game with Jamaica at Leicester. A couple of Race For Life entrants were on the Gosport ferry. I wished them good luck.

The Co-op at Portsmouth Harbour didn’t have a Non-League Paper. Shockingly, neither did either of the WH Smith shops at Waterloo, nor the one at St Pancras. I had to hop over to King’s Cross to find one in the WH Smith there.

Outside Leicester station the Big Issue vendor noticed my England hat and Lioness T-shirt and asked what I thought the score would be. I said 3-1 to England, he reckoned 5-2.

My hotel was about a mile from the station. On the way there was a Turkish restaurant, and it was getting on for 2 pm and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast so I called in. The food was very tasty. I spotted a couple of other Lionesses fans at a window table but they didn’t know me.

The hotel was adjacent to Leicester Tigers’ rugby stadium. You had to take one lift from the ground floor to the first, then another from the first floor to the rooms. Traversing the first floor between lifts, I passed the entrance to ‘The Lair’ bar and realised I’d been there before. In October 2023, the last time the Lionesses played Leicester. When Crystal was with her demon ex, who behaved like an absolute horror. The silver lining was that madam’s shenanigans that night were the beginning of the end of that relationship.

And now I was back, looking forward to this game because I’d arranged to meet up with Crystal, Jules and Kathy, having not seen them for close to a year. Even better, they’d had a spare ticket sitting with them and offered it to me. We were due to meet outside the ground at 4, just giving me time to unpack and watch 10 minutes of Carry On Camping before setting back off on the walking trail again.

There was a bit of a queue for the programme vendors. I’d not long got mine and returned to the agreed meeting point when Jules and I spotted each other. After reunion hugs and kisses with her, Crystal and Kathy, they introduced me to Laura, a friend of Crystal’s, and Edwina, a friend of Kathy’s. We went into the ground and, with the blistering heat, called at the refreshment stalls for Leicester City-branded chilled water before heading to our seats.

We were five rows up from pitchside. As the huge display flags were carried out onto the pitch ahead of the arrival of the teams, the usual columns of fire shot up from spots all around the touchline. One column was right in front of us and we got fried.

Crystal had had the presence of mind to bring some Factor 50 and passed it round us all. England started the more lively team and took the lead on 10 minutes when Georgia Stanway neatly cued up Ella Toone to curl into the top of the net.

We really appreciated the occasional cloud passing over and giving us cooler moments. On 20 minutes it looked like Jamaica had equalised from a corner, then we noticed the ref going over to consult VAR. A mighty cheer greeted the eventual verdict of offside.

From then on it was a promenade for England against the under-strength Jamaicans. Lucy Bronze opened the floodgates nodding in a Jess Carter cross for England’s second just after the half hour mark. I yelled “Yes! My Queen!” and explained to Jules and Kathy, much to their approval, that Lucy is an icon for me since she came out as ASD.

The Lionesses ran out 7-0 winners and we were all delighted to see Beth Mead get on the scoresheet. There was a scary moment when Beth was down receiving attention and we wondered if her knee had gone. Happily she finished the match. We had the joy of seeing Rachel Yankey do interviews on the big screen, then Sarina Wiegman and the squad were introduced one by one and presented on the pitch, for us to give them a send-off before the Euros.

Once the squad had dispersed, Kathy, Edwina and Laura said their goodbyes and Jules, Crystal and I moseyed along to the Local Hero pub to meet locals Jill and Steph for some much needed ciders with plenty of penguin poo. As Jules and I were in the queue for the bar the two guys behind us were talking football. One of them said something uncomplimentary about West Bromwich Albion so I asked “Are you old gold?”

They didn’t get it so I said “Wolverhampton Wanderers?” They, unsurprisingly really, were actually Leicester City fans. One of them mused on their miracle, when, completely unexpected, Leicester won the Premier League in 2015/16. He reckoned that was enough for a lifetime.

I nodded. “I’m a Portsmouth fan. Our FA Cup in 2008 will do me.”

The Leicester fan observed that we’d been through some troubled times since. I concurred “We nearly went under twice.”

He replied “We nearly went under after we took Mandaric off you. He was a hero to you, wasn’t he? Well, he was a villain to us.” I sympathised with the tragic death a few years ago of their Thai owner who’d been very good for Leicester. They recalled with distaste how sick Coventry City fans had put banners on road bridges glorying in the helicopter accident.

Jules and I got our drinks and returned to the others. We reminisced about past tournaments, and shared a few memories of the Canadian World Cup in 2015. Jill and Steph had been at the semi with Japan; I groaned “My wife scored an own goal!” “It wasn’t her fault,” Steph said.

Vera came on the pub TV. Every so often Jill told Steph “Stop watching Vera!” With no sound or subtitles there was little point. Jules went to enquire about food and was told the pub had stopped serving. Steph suggested McDonald’s and we all agreed.

As we were crossing the garage forecourt on our way to Maccy D’s, a lady in a car at one of the pumps called out to me. It was Rea Laudat, formerly of Charlton Athletic Women, who I knew from London Seaward. I went over for a quick chat.

Rejoining the ladies outside McDonald’s, Jules told the others that that kind of encounter was always happening to me. We met Basil and Maisie at the outside tables. After we’d eaten Maisie came along with us to my hotel, where it turned out Jules and Crystal were also staying, for a couple more snifters.

In the hotel bar, I detoured to the Gents. On my joining the ladies at the table they’d set up at, Crystal was relating a little sadly how her travels with the Lionesses in recent years had run her credit card up to the point where she can now only make a few games. I replied “I hear you, sister” and told her I was in the same boat, but no-one responded. Unknown to me, Crystal had been replying to Maisie who was in the middle of telling the story of her women’s football supporting life. And, fair play to her, she certainly had some tales.

When she’d finished we spent most of the rest of the evening discussing sportswomen we have crushes on. With Jill and Steph, naturally cricket players featured heavily.